The Art of Seeing Others During Advent

Photo Credit: Pixabay.com

The past few weeks I’ve been thinking about Advent, the liturgical season meant to lead us to a fuller appreciation of what the birth of Jesus means to those of us who are Christian. I’ve been wondering what I could do to lift my soul and heart to become a better follower of Christ and thus, a better human being. Advent is always a time to explore this element of our faith. It seems to me that whereas Lent might focus on one’s personal examination of holiness and the need to do some personal repentance, Advent is the season to reflect on one’s outreach of faith, an outreach to others that will enlarge one’s faith and bless it with joy. That’s the purpose of Advent. Think of Christ coming to us as a human being. He is like us; has all the emotions and bodily needs we have; his soul is roundly plundered by others who don’t understand him. He seeks friendship and approval. He needs us. We need him. Christmas is all about thinking of the needs of others, of accepting that this is why he came, and we can bring this to others today who are seeking peace and joy and to those who are just plain resistant to his joyful message. 

So, I looked around for someone who could offer some spiritual guidance in the practice of a real Advent. I found it in David Brooks, one of my favorite journalists, a columnist for the New York Timesand a writer for The Atlantic Monthly. He is also a commentator for the PBS NewsHour. As of late, Brooks has drifted from strictly political commentary (although he still writes cogently on it) and more into sociological, even religious commentary on issues. He is a secular Jew who delves into the deeper quest of faith and God’s presence in our lives through the Torah, the Koran, and the Gospels. You might say he is an eclectic believer and an informed seeker.

Brooks wrote an article recently and gave a speech on the topic of “The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen.” As I read the article and listened to the speech on YouTube, I thought here is my practice for advent. Brooks says up front that “Being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being…but we need enhanced social skills.” He believes we have an “epidemic of invisibility – people feel unseen and disrespected.” So, I reflected: Am I open-hearted, no, not just placidly accepting of others, but do I actively welcome them into my sphere, do I make an effort to let them know I see them? I notice what they are wearing. I comment on what they are saying. I engage their minds rather than dismiss their conversation. By doing so, Brooks says I can help others blossom; I can recognize their potential.

Brooks argues that there are two types of people in social groups: diminishers and illuminators. Diminishers are into themselves; they make others feel insignificant. They stereotype and judge you on the one thing they learn about you. Illuminators, on the other hand, have a persistent curiosity about others. They shine a brightness of caring for others to make them feel respected. Illuminators are simply a joy to be around.

I found myself asking which of the two types of social humans I might be. It gave me a good jump start on advent, a reflection on what am I doing for others to share in the reason and joy of why Christ came among us? Am I a diminisher or an illuminator? Bringing the gift of the illuminator, is deeply spiritual for this season. Brooks adds that ‘accompaniment’ is a major trait of the illuminator. By accompanying someone we can become more playful; we are ‘linger able,’ we hang around this someone in support and in ‘presence.’ We employ meaningful questions when conversing with someone making us better listeners. All of this is really the meaning of Advent. Remember: Advent is not penitential; it is not a mini-Lent. It is meant to inspire us to live, promote, and evangelize the joy Christ’s birth and humanity brought to us. It is meant to live the gratitude of God’s gift to us and to live it with and for others. Yes, with and for others.

Reflection

It might be helpful if this first week of Advent we reflect on what we might be: illuminator or diminisher? Then, meditate on how this effects others with whom we live and work. This way, we are preparing ourselves to be the gifts God wants us to be for others. What a grand Christmas that would make!!

What do you think of the illuminator and diminisher categories? Can you think of this throughout Advent? Share with us your thoughts.  

An update on Kindland. A few weeks ago, I posted on the city of Cleveland’s effort to be identified as Kindland. I will share one such story today and more later. The mayor of Maple Heights, a struggling suburb of Cleveland, asked residents to turn on porch lights so children would not have to walk dark streets to school bus stops in the morning. Local Home Depot stores donated light bulbs to people who had no porch lights and could not afford them; neighbors helped seniors install the lights or repair wiring, etc. and now entire streets are well lighted for the children. Kindness in action.

This Advent, I have placed all of you, my dear readers, in my prayer intentions for every day. I love remembering you.