The Unexpected During a Time of Waiting

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As I’m meditating on whether I’m an illuminary person or a diminisher person as discussed in last week’s post, I have come to realize that sometimes I’m a blend of both, but the challenge is to face the diminisher side and pray for the insight to recognize it when it veers its cunning head and tries to sway me its way. If you read last week’s post, you know what I’m describing. Well, I was deeply into this meditation when suddenly a couple of experiences took over and said, “We will disturb your nice advent plans and test your weakest spiritual temptations. You will see for sure, whether you are an illuminator or diminisher!”

So, here we go. This past week we faced a criminal effort that nearly wiped out our house checking account. Our house bursar caught it in time for us to get to the bank and hold off a transfer of our checking accounts (two of us have such an account for our ministries) but we literally spent the entire day changing everything of ours in the system and in our personal laptops. A few days later, I went to use my cell phone, which I had already used that morning, and it was dead. Yes, dead! I got to the Verizon store only to be told nothing could be done except buy a new phone. Of course, it took one hour of waiting for service and another hour of trying to fix it only to learn the phone was a ‘goner.’ So, I lost another day. 

I’ve been unable to purchase anything because the new checks have not arrived, and I could not do any communication via phone through the week until the new phone would arrive. At this writing, it has not arrived. I’m sure people have been contacting me and wondering why I’m not answering, particularly those who said they would call with dates, times, information related to my work and even family requests, etc. Finally, in a quiet moment of reflection I thought: “Just who do you think you are, all anxious about these issues? Much of the world is being strangled by the evil of war. Children are ruthlessly murdered in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and in Ukraine. You are simply being selfish.” I realized I was not much of an ‘illuminator.’

Advent has startled me with its silent, soft call to ‘wait.’ Perhaps because I am re-reading an advent classic, The Reed of God, by Caryll Houselander, whose many examples of Mary’s strength in waiting, I have been reminded that my waiting today is real and discomforting but nothing like that of the young woman waiting to get a room for the night, waiting in lines for the census to be taken, waiting for handouts of food in the marketplace, waiting for Joseph to return with a pail of water she will need. Waiting, finally, for the birth process. My experiences of this week showed me that I need to learn how to wait. And the peerless model of advent waiting is Mary, the mother of God. Waiting is my Achilles heel. It certainly was not true for Mary and Joseph; it is the lesson I can take this advent from their example. I must settle into prayer and submit to the working of others, and I must wait in patience. I’m certain that I will be taught something by waiting. The humble know how to wait; they know they are not in charge. The humble wait with a peaceful attitude; there is no tapping of fingers or feet, no pacing the room. If there is anxiety, it is lifted in hope and prayer that all will be well. Like the night of Christ’s Nativity. 

Reflection 

Many sermons will dwell on waiting as we live the fullness of advent the next few weeks. Here are some questions you might want to think about:  Am I waiting for something or someone? Am I waiting for an insight or answer to a prayer? How can I handle this waiting with a peaceful, humble attitude?

Or perhaps we are treating the call of waiting in a different way. Am I through with waiting? Am I disappointed or even angry that what I wait for I am not seeing or experiencing? 

Even more, Could I be waiting for something imaginary, something that might never be real? Can I be humble enough to accept that I need not wait, that what I am waiting for is not real or possible? How can I accept God’s will in such circumstances? 

A Prayer for Advent Waiting

Loving God, take my anxious heart and teach it to wait.

Put it to sleep in the ground, and like a seed,

raise it as a tender shoot,

the strength of waiting growing in the stalk for the coming of Spring.