Are We Thoughtful About Our Language?

Have you ever thought of listing the over-used words and phrases you encounter daily? Some language experts refer to many over-used words as ‘brain fog,’ or ‘stream of consciousness word pauses,’ or ‘brainless or emotionless’ vocabulary. Not long ago, teenagers fell into the word swamp with ‘like.’ Consider this brief conversation: “He said, you have to come home. And I’m like, why? And he’s like, you just have to come home. I say, like is there a reason? And he’s like, I dunno.” The word ‘like’ seems to have fallen into disuse, and I’m like, thank God! 

Let’s look at words first and then phrases that dilute the impact of our conversation and thinking. And, I might add, our spiritual sensitivity so, yes, there is a spiritual lesson here too.

Top of the list, by my count is curate. Once reserved for description of the clergyman in charge of church property and then to museum program organizers, this word is sullied, diminished, stretched beyond meaning as in the following. “She was curating her child’s birthday party.” “He curated the kitty litter box and toys for little Tango, his five-year old Tabby.” Next is gaslighting. Everyone is getting gaslighted these days according to commentators on television news. The word stems from the 1938 famous play, Gas Light, in which a man tries to convince his wife she is insane by adjusting the gas lights in their home when she is alone. The word means using psychological methods to make someone question their security or sanity. It flourishes in political rallies and any place where fact-checking does not take place. For instance, “Beware of immigrants. They’re coming after your jobs, your money, your daughters.” How about ghosting? A nasty word which means to end a relationship, suddenly and without explanation. “I was ghosted. She put the engagement ring in my mailbox, and I haven’t seen her since.” 

Why don’t we just say: explain, famous or unparalleled, and homemade for unpack, iconic, hand-crafted. I don’t think anyone who uses existential really understands the philosophical definition. Consider, “There are existential reasons we must consider for the proposal for replacing sewer lines.” Really? Existential means “concerning human existence or the affirming or implying the existence of a thing.” (Google definition) But notice how frequently the word is used without connection to human existence while garishly applied to practical arguments. Sorry, the argument for sewer lines is a human need but not in the universe of basic humanness. The latest political word used to tease and befuddle candidates has traveled with electric velocity throughout speeches and interviews: weird. According to google definitions it can mean, supernatural (as in scary), uncanny, psychopath. Not very nice.

Pundits say that social media is the spawning ground of new words and phrases, and I believe it. I also add television and radio broadcasting. But here are some that saw the light of day long before social media. They are mostly phrases so well-worn they crumble at our touch or invocation. Why do we end talks with: at the end of the day? Or, in all honesty when anything less would be a lie? Why are we enamored with long story short? When confounded without an explanation why do we say, it is what it is? And why not say ‘yes’ instead of absolutely or no problem? I confess that I do not like, have a nice day and think someone could earn a Pulitzer Prize for devising ways to teach clerks to say simply, thank you and  maybe add a little flourish with be well or enjoy the day. A recent phrase which annoys me during life’s most challenging and sometimes tragic moments is I’m sorry for your loss. I realize that we are often so empathetic when we embrace someone after a death of their beloved friend or family member. Sometimes we need not speak. I find it hard to reach inside but once I do, I see the grieving person manage a smile or reach for an embrace. It is meaningful to acknowledge there is a gaping hole. Praying ahead of time for the consoling greeting which is something we owe to our friends in grief. When words become over-used or fill-ins for what we truly mean; they are sounds in the bin of useless meaning. 

Reflection 

I know there is a bit of griping in this blog, but I hope not without humor. And I hope my readers can see my point. I spent a little time years ago studying a philosopher of language, the estimable Ludwig Wittgenstein who wrote, “The limits of my language mean the limits of my soul.” Hmm. How wide are the soul’s limits using hackneyed and thoughtless words and phrases? Wittgenstein did not subscribe to any religion, but he wrote a lot of philosophy infused with religion. I believe he struggled to own a religion that would consider and include his many deeply held beliefs based on theology and language.

“Language is not a reality but an instrument,” he said, and Jesus said virtually the same as recorded in Matthew 3:37, “Say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no.” The instrument of language reaches into the soul, says Wittgenstein, and dredges up beautiful meaning when it swims against tide or is lifted from the surface morass of seaweed and detritus; it is raised up and rises pure and from a heart of innocence – your heart – which yearns to say the right thing at the right time. 

Always give time to pray for words of wisdom and words that encourage and give joy and love to others. If you do that daily, you will change your language and you will see as Wittgenstein wrote, “language is not reality, but an instrument.” And you will make it an instrument of love.

I so wish all of you my deepest prayers for God’s blessings and for the care of our language.