Post-Easter is a wonderful time of the Church’s liturgical year. It might be my favorite time of the year.
For the disciples, emotions and wondering and questioning abound. So do fear and terror. Gathered in the room where Jesus appears after his resurrection, the disciples talk sotto voce, hardly audible. They pace the floor quietly. Some pray. They listen for unfamiliar footsteps, for voices downstairs and outside. They react to a dog barking, to the noise of pots and barrels turning over in the streets. They are afraid that the Roman authorities will seek them out and they are fearful that their own Jewish authorities will abandon them. They are certain that Jesus’s fate will be their own. So, when Jesus appears to them, the disciples are overcome with joy but also, mystery. How did he get past the locked doors? What did he mean by breathing on them and praying that they receive the Holy Spirit?
John, the Evangelist, points out that one-week later Jesus appears to them again possibly because Thomas was not with the disciples when Jesus first appeared. John records what many theologians say are the most important words of faith in the New Testament: Thomas’s words, “My Lord and my God.” Thomas had declared to the disciples that he would not believe Jesus, the Crucified, had appeared to them alive unless he could put his hand into the wounds of Jesus. The test came at this second appearance when Thomas is present.
Theologian Frederick Buechner says this is a story about trying to believe in Jesus “in a world of shadows and ambiguities and longings and doubts” much like our world and what takes place “inside of us.” A popular suggestion and one which Buechner believes and suggests has meaning for us is that the name Thomas means ‘twin.’ Nowhere is the identity of Thomas’s twin mentioned in the Gospels. Is the twin you and me? Buechner thinks so. We are part of a world that is noisy, fomenting in hate and division, and we often give up on God when we say things like if God is for real, why is there war, sickness among children, suffering and hatred? Why? Why? Why? Another thoughtful theologian, whose name happens to be Thomas and who sought out ways to answer these problems, Thomas Halik, writes that our faith in the Risen Christ grows when we touch the wounds of those who are suffering. He experienced this in a squalid, filth infested sick ward for children in India. When we penetrate the curtains that separate us from the suffering of the world, we are putting our hands into the wounds of Christ, Malik infers.
All this to say that eyes cannot see truth. They see the result of truth: the sick child enfolded in arms of love; the warrior fighting for freedom, not power; the leader concentrating totally on the security and peace of the nation, not power or greed. When Jesus turned to speak to Thomas, nothing else was important. Jesus uses this moment as a ‘teachable moment’ for the rest of us. “Blest are those who have not seen and yet believe” says Jesus to Thomas and to all of us. (Jn 20:29) For the times when we doubt for the times when we allow our unbelief to be more assurance than our faith. And yet, ordinarily, like Thomas, we follow him and love him until our faith is tested. I picture Jesus and Thomas looking into each other’s eyes, a rush of silence among the others circles about the room. Buechner writes that “It’s as though maybe for the first time in his life it wasn’t just the ‘fact’ of Jesus that he (Thomas) saw but the ‘truth’ of Jesus and the truth of who Jesus was for him.” His Lord and his God! I picture Thomas slowly falling to his knees while holding on to Jesus, his head raising slowly to face Jesus again and saying tearfully, breathlessly: “My Lord and my God.” The Jerome Biblical Commentary says, “the ‘doubter’ makes the most complete affirmation of Christ’s nature to be found on anyone’s lips in the Gospel.” (p. 465)
Reflection
This wonderful story almost engenders more questions. Certainly, I ask myself why did I doubt my faith at times? What kept me back from believing in Christ? Why do I doubt the will of God? You can probably add some more questions. Some of us have spent years in a kind of time warp without God, a sort of simmering atheism, if you will. A bit tepid we might shrug our shoulders and say, “there might be a God,” or “I hope there’s a God.” We struggle with our doubts. We’d like to believe but…Truth is we cannot live without assurance, without being in control. Thomas shows us otherwise. He is obstinate. Resolute in his unbelief. But he risked danger by coming to the Upper Room. He must have wanted to be with his friends. Wanted to learn from them, be with them, grieve with them. He was humble enough to confront Jesus and to fall on his knees and make his proclamation of faith.
Read this story before you hear it on Sunday, (Jn 20:19-29). Ask for the grace to be humble to pray, my Lord and my God, I believe in you, help my unbelief.
To all of you, my dear readers, and Anonymous Angels, may this spring be an inspiration for a deeper faith in our loving God. May you see with your heart all the mysteries God wants you to enjoy.
In All Things Charity 
Thank you, I missed the meaning of Doubting Thomas in my sparse theological education. I have forwarded this on to my brother Tom. My father was a high school and junior high school teacher in Cleveland ( Lincoln High and Thomas Jefferson Jr High) and he named Tom after Thomas Wolfe as in “Look Homeward Angel”. My brother Samuel was named after Samuel Johnson, subject of James Boswell. Kris, whom you knew from Lumen was named after the character Kristin Lavransdatter. Claire,alas, has no literary basis. He was going to name me Cordelia, King Lear’s daughter who loved her father the best, but thankfully, my mother objected.
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Hi Claire: You had an amazingly literate father! Happy that Kristin was named for Kristin Lavanrsdatter, one of my favorite characters from the massive trilogy by Sigrid Undset who won the Nobel Prize in 1928. Claire–you have a beautiful name; it means brilliance and light. St. /Claire is thus the patron saint of television, movies, anything filmed. Love you dear Claire!
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Sister, now my my goal is to read the trilogy before year-end.
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Good morning Sister Mary Ann, I have been overwhelmed with the passing of Pope Francis. Truly heaven is in its Glory to receive this Holy Man of God. I love his love for children of all walks of life and for the disenfranchised.
This latest blog mentions sickness and suffering of children and questions why God lets this happen. I have struggled with this very question for years, when one day it struck me that this is God’s way of teaching us “normal” people how to love unconditionally. How to care for someone so vulnerable. How to have compassion for another person. And this is God’s way of giving us Angels here on earth.
That is how I think of my sister, Dorothy, who is developmentally disabled. She and I are only 13 months apart in age. She was my constant companion growing up. I don’t recall when I actually knew that she was different from my other sisters and me. But that difference has taught me that there are others who need a lifetime of help and caring and that lesson is a hard one but also one that I embrace and thank God that he chose our family to be the recipient of this Angel.
As always thank you for your weekly blog. My Mondays are always better because of your written word.
Wishing you only blessings, peace and love. Betty
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Thank you Betty…Your example with your sear sister is true meaning of seeing Jesus through the wounds of others. However, I will add that Dorothy probably never felt she had wounds. That seems to be the reality of people who are mentally disabled. I wish I lived that way!!
Thank you again and Happy post-Easter!
S. Mary Ann
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