The other morning, I heard a radio journalist request listeners to send in stories of misbehavior or abusive language from a customer to an employee in a store. She felt the abuse was getting out-of-hand and planned to write an essay on it. I had not heard about this, so it piqued my interest. Was abuse rampant? Was mistreatment of employees by customers growing? If it’s growing, what might be the cause?
Thinking this can’t be that big of a problem, I went to the internet and Googled: Employee abuse by customers. Wow! It’s like I took my thumb out of the dyke! Apparently, I’m not much of a shopper; examples of signs came from Loews, DIY, Krogers, Starbucks, the local groceries, major retail stores, and other big box anchors in shopping centers. I never noticed such signs before, and I’ve been told they started with Covid and have increased since then. So, I investigated.
When I asked several employees of food service about who were the angrier customers: older or younger people, the answer was surprising and overwhelming. Upper middle-aged to older people were the unkindest in words, younger people threaten with physical violence. Many, and I mean many, have videotaped their misbehavior on phones to send to TikTok, or YouTube, or Instagram or other platforms as if to showcase their personal bravery for calling out the allegedly poor service or manners of the clerk. If one studies these videos, one is shaken by the language, the threats, and the attacks of unhappy customers. It is not a show of demanding customer rights; it is a demonstration of how low human depravity can go wallowing in the swamp of unkindness.
Harassment toward a clerk violates the Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964; if age or disability are factored into the threat against an older clerk, The Age Discrimination Employment Act of 1967, and the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 are violated.
How have we descended so low? Some analysts believe that the rising costs of food, gas, household needs, serve to anger customers. Short supplies of items inflame customers who need something immediately. Older customers sometimes vent a frustration saying that, “It never was this way before. You got served with courtesy.” And it is often true that young clerks sometimes project a slovenly work ethic as if they detest their job and that serving you, the customer, is so demanding.
I have not read this anywhere, so let me know if you have, but I believe the bellicose, entitled culture of recent years has filtered down from leaders in government and business, mostly, to the average citizenry. Rhetoric that uses violent words to make a point or profanity and blasphemy that lace the speech of leaders quoted in the media, offer the average citizen a pass to do the same. The juvenile bravado that speaks with sneering lips that “We will annihilate that country,” or “These people are violent criminals, murderers, and rapists…” are only a few examples of what people hear daily that denigrate our adversaries and even some of our own citizens below the level of diplomatic discourse. Bellicose, entitled speech and action, has become a patina covering the psyche of many Americans because they hear and see it so often among people who should generate respect. This behavior has increasingly become evident in the treatment of clerks in our restaurants, fast food centers, hardware, and other general stores.
Reflection
Have you witnessed abusive behavior in stores? Were you able to counter it or assist the clerk? Were you ever tempted to berate an employee for some reason? What did you do to avoid doing so?
We are all tempted at some point to say something when service is weak in the check out line. If you have to call the manager, do it nicely by restraining your emotions; it never pays to show anger or disgust with the service.
One of the greatest scriptural texts that is almost always the text for weddings and anniversaries, but seldom deeply reflected on regarding other parts of our lives, is St. Paul’s letter “On the Excellence of Love,” (1Cor. 13:1-13) When tempted to react with impatience against someone providing service for you, stop and think: “Love is patient, love is kind… Love is never rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not prone to anger…” As Christians, we are called to love all people, even our enemies. We are called to love the cashier at the checkout, the salesperson walking the floors, the mechanic providing an estimate, the server taking your order. Whatever love you can extend will brighten that person’s day and make her job worthwhile. This reminds me of something I found in a book I’ve been reading by Mary Oliver. As I read, I recalled how civility and courtesy and neighborly love seemed more infectious in general just a few years back. Oliver remarked how persons of wisdom and intelligence became her “great ones” in life because they taught her “to observe with passion, to think with patience, to live always care-ingly.” To live care-ingly? What if we all lived that way?
Blessings to all my readers and Anonymous Angels who read and contact me privately. And let’s pray for all people who in their jobs face a stressful public.
In All Things Charity 
So needed!
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